i am extra tired

whenever i come back from vacation, my boss signs me up for six days of work in a row. this time was no different, so today was my first day all to myself in what felt like years. i made some magic bars, a pot roast (which totally needed 1. a hotter temp and 2. fifteen more minutes of cooking time, but otherwise was pretty okay), and bought a new pair of circular needles. i needed to go to the bank, but totally forget and by the time i remembered i was busy cooking and so now i'm just hoping nothing bounces between right now and tomorrow.

all i really wanted was today all to myself, and i got a lot of that. it was nice. i got some knitting done, and wrestled with the circulars for a while. a quick knitting question: is there a way to make the starting on circulars easier? i feel like i'm mucking it up, or missing something that might make it easier. also, will the nylon part of it soften up? it feels all stiff and weird in my hands. how should i store them? and when i get to the end of a hat, will i need to switch to dpns? if you are not a knitter and this part bored you, too bad! best part of a blog #325 is asking questions about stuff you don't know.

i've been a huge fan of sleeping on the couch lately, which is unfortunate seeing as i've spent $120 total fixing my back and that seems to undo it with a flourish. i just love how sleeping there feels like cheating; when i go through phases when i want don't want to sleep, no matter how tired i am, the couch becomes my friend. if i didn't have roommates i would be living on the couch right now. there's no good reason for my insomnia lately, i just get fussy before bed like a three year old. no, i am not tired. no, i don't want to go to bed. no, leave me alone. no...zzzz...

more of a litter than a family

have you seen or heard about the duggar family? they have sixteen children. yes, sixteen. they're pretty much famous for having a giant brood; they even have their own special on tlc about the house they built to fit them all.

i come from a long line of huge families. on my pop's side, until his generation there wasn't a family with less than eight kids. i have a ridiculous amount of cousins. mom's family was pretty big until they moved to the states, so i don't have quite as many cousins on that side of things. i am not anti-big-family, but the duggars make me uneasy.

it's hard to pinpoint exactly what makes me feel weird about them and at the same time compelled to watch their specials on tv, but the first thing that comes to mind when i think of them is that it's more of a litter than a family. mom seems to be just a breeding machine. a strangely perky, placid, brainwashed machine. having kids and being a mom is a totally worthwhile endeavor, but it seems like they've taken it to a seriously crazy extreme. mom is practically a baby-making-factory, and i can't imagine one set of parents being able to give all those kids any serious amount of attention. at the same time i think about how school teachers usually deal with more than sixteen, and they do it all day. of course, eight hours isn't exactly twenty-four.

their roles in the family also seem to be pretty rigidly gender-based. the girls help with cleaning, cooking, and other typically feminine stuff. the boys do garbage, yard work, that sort of thing. it makes me wonder what kind of chaos might break out if one of the many, many girls said, "hey, i'd rather mow the lawn today than babysit my younger brothers or sisters." and how come none of the girls get to wear a pair of pants? i mean, i'm fairly sure pants don't make you a man. the older children also have quite a lot of work to do, there seems to be very little time for them to hang out. when are they going to get to be angsty teenagers? or write bad poetry, discover morrissey and learn about the world outside their house? instead they have to be stand-in moms and dads. there isn't a whole lot of privacy built into the house either, with everyone sleeping in giant rooms all together. i would have been one seriously dark kid if i grew up in that house. oh wait, my parents are reasonable! i didn't have to! with their new compound all built, there isn't much chance of them getting to interact with the outside world, which is probably the point. education in that house must also be a bit of a joke, when on earth is there time to study? they don't even get to leave the house for school. the only meaningful interaction they have is with their own family and other families like them. will the duggar children know what they might be able to be outside of moms or dads? how could they pay for college? will they even be encouraged to attend college? or just grow up, get out of the house, and start their own mega-families?

i just think is this one example of where bigger might not be better. although i do kind of want to try their tater-tot casserole recipe.

extremely late secret boyfriend saturday!

i'm sorry i'm late with this week's secret boyfriend post. going on vacation always puts me way behind on everything else. like i still haven't unpacked my suitcase, i have a mountain of laundry to do, and boxes of things to send out! sheesh.
this week's secret boyfriend is foreign! with a funny name! and a pretty face! his name is cillian murphy, and he's from ireland. his accent is totally delicious. he's a mighty fine actor too, you may have seen his work being evil in batman begins. he's the handsomest bad guy i've seen in a while. although he's almost too pretty to be a boy, don't you think?
i'm not the only one who thinks so, because some wise casting director made him a transvestite in the film breakfast on pluto. the film itself was okay (i thought the story needed some work) but his work in it was sometimes totally heartbreaking. and he's just so pretty!
he's not always pretty, though. he also kicked some major zombie ass in 28 days later (which is one of my favorite zombie movies), and the part where he goes kind of bat-shit-crazy is hot. covered in blood and fighting back the undead, i wanted to make out with him. it is unusual for me to like a boy with such delicate features; i tend like to my men more on the "sexy ugly" side of things, but with cillian i simply cannot help myself. he's too tasty to not make a secret boyfriend!

i miss this face

baby is as cute as i thought she would be, also funnier and smarter. before you get all "of course you think she's smart, she's your niece," let me point out that she's already upright and cruising at 9 months old. she also does these funny little things that let you know she's paying attention. at our thanksgiving dinner (which we held a day early) she grabbed a napkin, put it up to her nose, and made a nose blowing sound. then she took it, wiped down the table, wiped off the couch, then her face. the whole time she was cracking up and talking to herself and us with her baby jabber, and when she did the nose-blowing routine she nearly fell down she laughed so hard. plus, she let me decorate her face with cereal every morning and chew on her cheeks whenever i wanted. that's all i really need in a baby!

okay, one more post

in just a few hours i get to see this baby, chew on her big cheeks, and feed her illicit treats (like bacon!). i'm pretty excited. look at that face! okay, i'm off. wish me luck getting to the airport and not getting lost...which seems to happen everytime i head there.

Secret Boyfriend Saturday

this week's secret boyfriend is infinitely pale, as well as a million years younger than i am. he knows his way around eyeliner, and is unapologetic in his love for all things black. i probably should have called this week's post, "Secret Boyfriend Saturday: I'm 15 years old." i feel slightly like a lecherous old lady having a crush on a boy younger than i am...wait! he's actually six months older than i am! my love doesn't have to be an embarassing secret! wow, that's nice.
his name is gerard way, and he's in a little band you might have heard of, called my chemical romance. say what you will about their music, you have to admit that's a damn good name for a band. i've had a crush on him for a about a year now, when one of the boys i used to work with at finko's made me a copy of three cheers for sweet revenge. for weeks i listened to it in my car, rocking out, driving back and forth to a job i hated. it made me feel better.
he might be pale, he might be dark, but he's also super cute. look at that smile! he reminds me of a young billy corrigan or jack white. in interviews he's funny and smart, and i seriously enjoy the giant sound of their music. everything is huge and operatic, various themes run through their albums, and even though teen girls everywhere swoon over them (the rest of the band is mighty cute, too), i think they're great. the hipster in me wants to say that they are too popular to like, that i should seek out more indie bands to get my goth-rock fix, but i don't want to.
i even really like his new blonde hair, and just like my comrade spacebeer, i rarely go for blondes. of course, his hair is more platinum than blonde, and with his pale skin and dark eyes he looks more undead than surfer-boy so that helps.

when i listen to a lot of MCR i wear a lot more eye make-up and spend more time doing my hair. i always forget how hot black eye liner is until i see it on a handsome boy. that's weird, i konw, but the first person i ever realized was wearing eye liner (my mom never wore it) was david bowie. you can trace a lot of my preferences in men to my first crush on bowie.

if gerard and i were to make a baby, it would have good hair and a very nice, round head. that's important to me. i like him a little more because of that.

(i'm also going out of town tomorrow for about a week, so this little post will be the last one until i get home. i won't have access to a computer, and more than that, my people don't know about this blog and i want to keep it that way. happy thanksgiving early!)

[crack]

i went to a chiropractor today, kind of on accident. i was bitching and complaining about my back hurting, and about that part of my back that won't crack no matter how i contort, and M said, "call this guy, stop complaining." i called, and they had an appointment this afternoon. throwing caution to the wind i went. it was amazing. i left there with a glow, and when i got back to work everyone asked, "how was it?" i told them i felt just as good as if i'd just gotten home from a really great date because that's exactly how it felt. that doctor cracked my back in placed i didn't think could crack anymore, he took a ton of x-rays, i got to actually see all the parts of my back that are fucked up, and i got a nice rub-down and spent some time on a table that made me wish it was a man i could date. i know i need a few more sessions before i feel 100%, but my back hasn't felt this good in months, maybe years. i think i just needed a good stretch and for someone to help me crack the parts that don't want to crack. a part of me is still fairly suspicious of chiropractors, they seem a little like witch doctors, at the same time i can totally appreciate a profession that spends so much time focusing on making the back feel good.

a few things i learned about my back that have always been suggested but never confirmed:

1. i do indeed have a slight case of scoliosis.
2. one leg is shorter than the other, which makes my hips sort of askew. this isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it does stiffen up my lower back.
3. the last time i was sure i broke my ass falling down in a huge beer spill at a show, i broke part of my back. there are some vertebrae in my lumbar section that are all mangled and chipped from when i broke them. geez.
4. my head doesn't sit straight on my spine. it's crooked like everything else on me! the chiropractor kept tilting my head and saying, "that's straight," and i kept saying, "no, that's tilted to the right."
   
5. none of these things on their own is particularly serious or awful, but all together they make for an annoying series of back issues. there isn't anything this guy is doing to do to radically change my life, but i feel better after a nice little adjustment, some heating pads, and a rub-down.
   

i might very well be a chiropractic convert, though.

make my face

today i was searching for my little electric flosser, and ran into a whole bunch of things in my make-up bag that i don't use anymore but can't get rid of. i was sitting there and looking through my make-up and reminiscing and then wondering if any other women do the same thing. make-up is a weird thing, we buy it for aesthetic reasons (mostly) but after you use them they become strange emotional talismans. here's what i hold on to and why.
this is a ridiculous eyeshadow; it was completely overpriced, it's a crazy color, and the packaging is fantastic. i admit sometimes i buy certain things because i like the way they look. it's usually a box of tea, or a shampoo at the grocery store with a cool bottle, or a beer because of the label. this, however, was sent to me by my sister for a birthday one year. it actually looks better on than you might think, although i don't wear it often. in fact, i do believe it's been over a year since i last put it on. (that might change tomorrow, though.) my sister is a lot more adventurous when it comes to make-up, and as much as i know she loves me, she's always trying to get me to wear more make-up, take more time doing my hair in the morning, and shaping my eyebrows. this was one of her attempts at girly-ing me up, and i was touched by the amount she spent on this eyeshadow. that's why i keep it.
this little quad of creme eye shadows was a staple in my make-up routine for a whole year in college. i like me in purples, and because it was creamy i could just smudge a little around my eyes and go. i don't wear these at all anymore, but when i see the little case i think about the apartment i lived in, my little walk to school every day, and i can smell the building where i had all of my classes. it was arntzen hall, and it smelled like old chalk, drywall, and wet jackets.
a device that is supposed to help me make herringbone braids in my hair. as much as i try, i cannot do anything but regular old Pocahontas braids down the sides of my face. i can't french braid, i can't herringbone, i can't even do one big braid down the back! this thing did not work, but i can't get rid of it because it holds the possibility of being able to braid my hair in a fancy manner. i keep thinking i'm getting it wrong, that if i can just figure out how to use this then i will always have good hair. i have all this hair, hair i won't cut anymore, but i don't do anything with it. i may as well buy myself a huge pair of breasts then wear only XXL sweatshirts.
this is some solid perfume from the gap, from about 7 years ago. it's not the same color it was when i bought it, it isn't very strong anymore, and i don't wear it. when i bought it i loved that it was a solid, and i carried it with me for touch-ups throughout the day. when i smell it now i remember one of my favorite years on bellingham, when i was living with my best friend from high school downtown, within walking distance of all the bars. we had a huge trampoline where we made out with many boys, i ate a lot of frozen pot stickers that year, and every single morning for breakfast i had a bagel. that year i got my first tattoo and my septum pierced. i always smelled pretty.
i bought this lipgloss in a sephora under the louvre. it's kind of sticky, and i don't wear it often, but dude. i bought it in france, under the museum that's home to the mona lisa. i might never throw this away.
before i went back to glasses for good as a graduate student i wore a lot of eye make-up. well, i wore a lot more than i do now. i favored bright eye pencils that i could smudge around my eyes (i only use shadows i can smudge because my look is, at best, haphazard, and at some point i will rub my eyes and smudge it anyway), and i loved the blue one because it was just so dumb. the green was cute, and the yellow is more gold when it goes on. honestly though, even though i don't wear these very often anymore, they accurately reflect my entire attitude toward fashion and make-up: the funnier, the better. semi-retarded and sort-of out of date? then i'll take two, please.

oh, baby!

henry showed up today! i have to admit, i was totally rooting for tiernan to get a sister, but now that henry is here i'm super happy. he's a beautiful baby, even if he is a boy. (hee hee!) although in all honesty, even if it is the corniest thing on earth, the fact that he's here and healthy and happy means more to me than being able to buy more dresses. with maggie and kali, we have enough girl babies! i can't wait to see him and chew on his cheeks and kiss him over and over again. man, i miss babies. why are all my babies so far away? i've got to sell my people on colorado so they'll all just come out here...being an auntie without nieces and nephews is not as fun as being as auntie who gets to nibble on baby on the weekends!

bloodsuckers need love too

i've mentioned before that i love my cable television because it has a nifty feature that allows me to watch movies for free, when i want to watch them. it is called on demand and it is my best friend. just recently they added fearnet on demand, which is nothing but scary movies. of course, nothing super scary, but lots of good things nonetheless. tonight i finally watched bram stoker's dracula, which i would never waste my netflix queue on, but have always been interested in. i was excited to find that tom waits was in it, was totally bored by keanu, annoyed by anthony hopkins, and in the end rooted for mina and drac to just live happily, deadly ever after. is that so much to ask for? god, just because they were evil, blood-sucking, and undead doesn't mean they don't deserve a little happy. i suppose that might just be the goth in me talking, but i'd like to see vampires run off together into the sunset.

bleh

the roomies are sick! i am loading up on vitamins because i do not want to get sick myself. i do not want to sneeze a lot, feel all tired, loaf around the house, or generally feel yucky. i am not in the mood!

this weekend was grand mal kind of shitty, and none of it i can talk about! that's annoying, but probably what makes it more annoying is mentioning it in cryptic tones on my blog. when people say to me, "god this weekend was terrible and i don't want to talk about it" i always say "now you have to! you can't say that sort of thing without explaining!" trust me, if i could tell you i would. it's just not my story to tell, and my angst comes mainly from not being able to do anything about it. i am protective of my people, and it's awful to not be able to keep them all safe and cozy at all times.

if i could, i'd wrap you all in down blankets and tuck you in with cups of hot tea and cookies.

also, tell tiernan's new brother or sister to hurry up! god, i am sick to death of waiting to meet this new member of the family. first it's waiting for baby to born, then it's waiting to teach baby dirty words, then waiting until it has enough teeth to chew bacon...i have things to do baby, hurry up and get here already! the sooner you show up, the sooner i can start corrupting you. (i mean that in the best possible way!)

Secret Boyfriend Saturday

this week's secret boyfriend comes to us straight from some creepy logging town in the pacific northwest. well, sort of.

it's kyle maclachlan, who's known best for his work with mr. david lynch on the tv show twin peaks. he was the eerily straight-laced fbi agent dale cooper. i'd like to say right here and now that i think mulder from the x-files owes a lot to agent cooper. (which is also one fbi sandwich i would love to be a part of.) amidst all the bizzarro things going on in the show, agent cooper was totally crushable. i think that show is also responsible for my love of the quirky guy.

kyle's worked with david lynch a few times, including on the movies blue velvet and dune. it's true dune is about five hours too long, but it's been one of my favorite sci-fi movies since i was a kid. it used to come on the sunday television matinee all the time, and it was just recently i saw the whole damn thing. i can see why they cut it down to only two hours. of course, dune also has the distinction of having one very red hot sting in it. how can you not love paul muad'dib?

maybe it's the chin, the good thick hair, the way he stands up super-straight. kyle is not one of those actor guys who ever shows up someplace wrinkly and unshaven, and i like that in a man. a little scruff on the weekends is one thing, but if you are a movie star, i kind of like it when you act like one.

i even liked his role in the so-bad-it's-good showgirls. i felt bad for him while nomi did that rabid dolphin thing to him in the pool, but other than that i found him delicious.


diane, take a note: kyle maclachlan is totally hot and is this week's very special secret boyfriend.

i do things besides cook and bitch, honest

i know it seems like that's all i do, though, lately. tomorrow is a co worker's last day at work (aside from some packing and organizing she will finish up early monday morning), and so i made her some cookies. they are oatmeal coconut chocolate chunk, a recipe i based on ordinary oatmeal cookies, with some additions. next time though, i'm using more oatmeal, and less flour. they weren't as oatmeal-y as i would have liked. i might also use a little more wet stuff, because i like a softer cookie. however, for a recipe i drastically changed it came out super great. i will tweak it and make again, for sure.

my new melodie's showed up tonight, and they are 500% cuter than they are in photos. the seller advertised them as "almost new" but if they were ever worn, i have a feeling it was for five minutes, inside, walking on marshmellows. they are in perfect shape; the heel isn't even broken in! i am in love. i also got paid for almost all the shoes i put up on ebay, which means tomorrow i get to ship a bunch out. to top it all off, i got rid of three pairs that were past the point of no return--not comfortable anymore, not worn very often, and too old to give to goodwill. into the trash they went. while i miss working for a shoe company and getting free shoes all the time, it's kind of a good thing because even before the days of free shoes i still had too many pairs. they were all essentially the same shoe (black, flat, and of the tennis shoe or mary jane variety), but there were a lot of them.

ten days until i get to meet baby! my sister says lately she is very into hugging, and when she does it she wraps her arms around you and then gives you tiny pats on the back. she hugs all the thing she loves, even going to far as to hug the pizza last night. i can understand her enthusiam for that, though, pizza is good.

goodbye and hello!

the shoes i was selling on ebay came out to almost half of what i paid for the shoes i bought on ebay. that makes me feel better about buying them. i feel like this is more of a trade, really. i get to make some room in my closet, some other woman can wear the shoes i ignore on a regular basis, and i only have to feel half as guilty about spending money on shoes. we all win!

started my christmas lists today; what i've already made, what needs to be finished, things to buy, and all that jazz. i really should get on top of my cards, too. i liked the ones i made last year well enough, but to be honest, i think the ones i made the year before were more genius. i don't know if i'll ever make a card that great again! maybe i can shave "merry xmas" into the back of the cat or something...

i know it sounds all early and stuff, and it's true i hate how early the holidays start now (i think two months of christmas is entirely too much, and starting with all the chrismas stuff right after halloween totally ignores thanksgiving, which has to be one of my favorite holidays), but since i like making the majority of the things i send out, i have to think a little early. to be honest, some of the presents i'm finishing right now i started months and months ago. i hate feeling rushed when i'm making something, and this way i don't. out of all the people i know, i am the laziest and best at procrastinating, and so i have to work around it. i'm late all the time too, so my clocks are all set at random times ahead. i try to make it so they all aren't the same, because then i can do the math too fast. it used to be that i'd have my sister set my clocks, so i never actually knew how fast ahead they were, but she lives far away now and explaining this neurosis to my roommates seems mean. see? you have to work with you have sometimes.

p.s. my sister called tonight to tell me that baby had her first slice of pizza and loved it. i could tell, because baby wasn't making a peep in the background, and the only time she's quiet lately is when she's eating. i know it's a teensy milestone, but baby's first pizza should definately be celebrated.

doctor recommended

the cure for a crappy mood is tuna noodle casserole. i had no idea! i have none other than dr. joolie to thank, because if she hadn't mentioned tuna noodle casserole on her site, i would have never understood it's restorative powers. i feel as though my will to live has been reinvigorated! cheesy, tuna noodle goodness, complete with a crunchy top of salt & vinegar chips and more baked cheese. how can a meal comprised mostly of things that come out of cans be so delicious and make me feel so much better? i even called my pop tonight to tell him how great it turned out, and how good it was to eat, and he said, "well hon, they call it comfort food for a reason." good call, pop.

i made a very cool christmas present today that i can't show you because more than one person is going to get it. i won an auction on ebay for a very cute pair of shoes. it's true i was searching for a different style dansko, a mary jane style, but when i saw the melodie's i had to get them. they are very elaine, and very 1990's, and just like every pair of shoes i bought in high school (outside of cons). plus, there was only five minutes left to go, and i got them for under $60 with shipping. i'm also selling some shoes on ebay, which are not making much money. that would bother me more, but at the same time they are shoes i don't wear and will soon be out of my house. they have a day left to go; i'm hoping that the higher they make it on the list of "ending soonest" the more they'll go for. i pissed the cat off royally because i wouldn't let her out of the house. yesterday she thought it would be great fun to get into a cat fight, then crawl around in an oil slick. she came inside ruffled and reeking of engine oil, slippery and fussy. we decided it was best for her to stay inside for a day or two, but she thinks otherwise. bad news bears showed up today as well, and i can't say anything about billy bob that spacebeer hasn't already said. i love him. not in spite of his name, but perhaps because of. i know he's an odd duck, but he's an odd duck i want to make out with. also, the movie was great fun, in a sweetly endearing foul-mouthed sort of way. and last but not least, i had a cup of tea at 7 and now might never sleep again.

I AM IN A VERY BAD MOOD

remember that book about the kid who has the lousy day? somedays i feel all scowly and fussy like that, and today was totally that day. nothing went right, work was retarded, my period showed up totally unannounced (today i would have welcomed a warning cramp or two, thankyouverymuch), i brought my lunch and it was horrible, and to top it all off i've just sworn off beer and other delicious adult beverages because my pants are too damn tight so i can't even tie on a tiny one! normally i would tell my pants to kiss my fat ass and just have the drink (or four) that i want, but i'm seeing my family in two weeks and the last thing i need is mom to give me that look. i know she doesn't mean it, but she puts on her very-concerned-mom-face when she considers my chubby frame. of course i could totally be projecting my shitty mood on her! let's not put it past me.

i can't sell anything. i wore my nice smile and brushed hair all day long, bending over backwards, practically giving the store away today and still nothing. you may not know this about me, but being nice all day to assclowns and jerks can be hard on me. it goes against my nature, which is to stick to myself and assume the worst about everyone (i also really enjoy sitting in judgement and making snide remarks behind stranger's backs because i am seriously enlightened), which makes me miserable on a few levels. one being, how can i be so awful? god, was i raised by rabid wolves? two being, that horrible realization that my skills as a people-person are responsible for paying the rent and jesus christ i'm pretty sure that was a mistake on my part.

i lost my promotion. they've decided to get rid of that department all together in a few stores, and mine is one of them. our main tech is leaving our office, which is going to suck seriously because i like her a lot. we all do. i'm disappointed but not entirely surprised. why do i still work there? i've quit jobs for less, and with a lot less notice, and there's that part of me that wants to tell them to all fuck off and get out of town, and there's that part of me who knows i won't be fired anytime soon (they are too desperate for employees and i know it) and i'm just going to try to make a few more good commission checks and then quit. i'm just sick to death of feeling seriously inadequate and dicked over. i'm tired of smiling and pretending to care and i know it's only to get worse.

goddamn this was one whiny post. look at my pretty new necklace instead, okay. it cheered me up, maybe it will let you forget i'm a huge asshole for a few minutes too!
octo goodness in my favorite color, which lately has been turquoise/celadon green.

Secret Boyfriend Saturday

i'm worried about spacebeer taking all the good secret boyfriends, so this week i'm getting in on the action!

the first installment is a special one featuring the one, the only, brock sampson. brock is the bodyguard for the venture family, and while he sports a dubious mullet, he is still extra-sexy.

oh wait, he's not always brock. sometimes he's also david puddy. david is hot, but also sort of dumb in an affable way. i was always jealous of elaine for getting to date him.

in cartoon or real-person form, patrick warburton is one foxy babe. plus, he has that great voice and he's all tall and stuff. i like tall. he's also lent that deep voice to many a cartoon, which makes him that much hotter in my dorky eyes. (although i think if the two of us were to mate and make offspring, i might have to weed-whack the kid's eyebrows. between the two of us, that's a lot of caterpillar growth.)

and that's my very first installment of secret boyfriend saturday!

list time, sorry

i fee like sometimes i wait so long between posts that i end up having a ton of stuff i want to tell you, then it ends up being one long post that goes kind of nowhere and blah blah blah. i feel bad resorting to lists, but oh well! unless one of you complains, you'll have to deal with it.

1. this news about a super-evangelical leader bashing homos one day and smoking pole the next thrills me to the core of my cold soul. colorado is at times a little too religious for my tastes, and this sort of bad news on their front just makes me happy. i have always had a feeling that most people who are most anti-gay are the gayest.
   
2. the work front bring miserable news, the kind that makes me want to burn shit and throw things around, but it's all so ridiculous that i don't even want to talk about it. i did tell my boss, however, that i will stay through the holidays but after that i give no guarantees.
   
3. i feel kind of like i'd gotten things in colorado all sorted out, i was starting to feel at home and cozy and make plans, but now i'm not sure. i feel like maybe this is a sign and i should just get through the next few months and then move on. colorado is like an uninterested boyfriend who is fun when he's fun, but boring or annoying the rest of the time.
   
4. my crush on boy bands will not abate! it's all panic! at the disco and my chemical romance.
   
5. i found the loveliest glass necklace on etsy; it's green with an octo on it. the moment after i bought it i thought, "oh wait, maybe i should have looked through her whole stock..." because maybe i hadn't gotten the best one, but i did. yay for impulse shopping!
6. boo to impulse shopping. i might have a big move to pay for.
   
7. there is this part of me that really wants to get the new courtney love book. i indulged that part of me with some used hole cds, so i can re-live that part of my youth spent wearing dark purple lipstick and moping around town on the bus, while waiting for the book to come out in paperback. although frances is going to need to go to college at some point, maybe i should just buy the book...
   
8. aaron made me the coolest present for my birthday: a candy ass cross stitch. i'm telling you, if you know anyone who you're freaked out about finding an appropriate christmas/holiday gift for, you should make them something from subversive cross stitch. unless they are nazi's, they'll love anything you make.
   

they might revoke my license

not my driver's license, friends, no--not that. my license to be 29. one day into a new year, a new age, and this is what i bought with my hard-earned money. a big, green, froggy humidifier. i've been wanting this since last year when i discovered the cold, dry colorado air and i don't get along. i wanted this humidifier then, i wanted it badly, but it was in the $40 range, and while i am a weirdo i am also a cheap weirdo. instead of buying it, i bought a perfectly reasonable, practical, inexpensive bean-shaped thing. while it does the job it also sounds like a jet plane and is not a green frog. then! one day, poking through the wonders at target i ran into my green frog again. this time, it was marked down. way down. like almost 50% marked down! you think the next part of this story is going to be "i pulled out my wallet and bought it right then," don't you? you'd be wrong. i made myself wait three whole days, to see if i really did want it, then ran back to the store where i swept my green prince off his feet and into my home. he's adorable, he's humidifying the air, and i am a happy girl.
i also figured while i was there, since i'm obviously starting off 29 on a very adolescent note, i'd buy the panic! at the disco album i wanted. yes, they are teenage boys singing earnestly about girls and writing song titles that border on novellas, but i can't help it. there is something deeply satisfying to me about singing along to their songs, and what the hell? i bought a green frog humidifier today. 29 is great and all, but if it can't respect my desire to indulge in my inner teenager, then it can kiss my ass.