more stuff i won't miss

• random cans of malt liquor hanging around. some in the fridge, some open cans in the bathroom, wherever. i'm trying to choke one down due to a long and lousy day at work, but 211 steel reserve is shitty. i've been sort of craving mickey's lately and thought, "well, this is here" but i think even mickey's is better than this crap. shudder.
  
• chew bottles! oh dear sweet baby jesus there is nothing grosser than finding a bottle full of chew spit. he'd try to hide them out of the way so i wouldn't find them, but i always did. the fact is, a bottle filled with spit is pretty fucking gross, and because i have such an aversion to them i was naturally drawn to them. it's like heisenberg's principle* or something.
  
• anyone taking my car without first asking to borrow it. that should be a given right? but it wasn't. in fact, every time i made a point to tell him how much it bothered me he treated me like an over-protective spaz and asshole, but i think it's just polite. i never borrowed anything without asking, and a car is like a big thing. it's not like i would have ever said no, except you know when he wanted to drive a block away and i was low on gas (then i would have, and i don't think that's too shitty a thing to do!).
• ed saying something or other was "extreme." dude, that saying is so 1995. i should know.
  

i'm still sort of uncertain about what is going to happen next month. so far my landlord has been pretty understanding, but i don't think i can afford next month's rent. unless he gives me the deposit; in which case i might be able to finagle it. i owe him another $330, i got paid today so he gets it tomorrow. i hunted down ed through email; he says he sent the rent in and it must be a mistake, i say i'll believe him when he shows me some proof, like a receipt for the money order he claims to have gotten. it's a shitty situation, but it could be worse so right now i'm trying to just focus on the good stuff; a nice, summery crush, a good dinner, a little extra summer sun. it's easy to feel bad for myself and do the whole "woe is me" but that's not going to help. i'm just going to have to tighten my belt buckle and do some serious budgeting, rely on the kindness of friends, family, strangers and acquaintances and roll with the punches. what else can i do? i'd love to spend a few days in bed crying and drinking and watching sad movies, but i have bills to pay and who needs the headache?

*like i know anything about that. i don't even know what it's about, but i like the name of it!

ps. this post over at barrett's blog made me happy. i am totally not a creep and am indeed myself. maybe i'm okay after all.