doot doo dooo

25 days left. at work, at least. it feels like not enough time, but at the same time i feel like i can indeed get this done. after all, i want to be home by easter, and that gives me a whole extra week after the end of work. i get more excited every day, and every time i see something that reminds me of home i feel positively giddy. portland will be fun. it's like seattle, but with a whole new set of people to meet. i bought a copy of this book today, because i can't wait to explore a new city, but like a little background. i'm sort of familiar with the town already, and it has a lot of things that seattle has (like it's own uwajimaya), along with a generous helping of drizzle, coffee and beer, but it's still different.

don't get me wrong, i love seattle. moving back there would be great in a lot of ways, but i just don't think i'm ready. i have sort of mixed feelings about seattle. there were amazing, wonderful times there, and i met a lot of people i love dearly, but like any town it gets to feeling small after a while and i'm afraid going back there i would fall into some old ruts i've already carved out for myself. portland lets me be closer to home while also being someplace new, and the new part of this experience has been good for me. i'm not ready to settle down yet, either. while there isn't a huge threat of that happening anytime soon (i think you need a boyfriend, your own cat, a job you love, something along those lines, for that to happen), i don't want it just the same and seattle feels like the kind of place i'd like to end up, eventually. maybe. i don't know. portland lets me be closer to home, feels like home to me already.

i'll miss my friends here, but it's just time. i don't want the boys or baby to get too big without me around, i want to see my mom and pop on the weekends, i want to be near the ocean again. if i had never done this i would have always wondered, and now i don't have to.

a short list of things i'm going to do when i get home:

1. get my hair fixed. it's not awful the way it is, but does veer a little bit to the soccer-mom side of the haircut spectrum.
2. lie on the couch in mom's sewing room while working on something and watching movies on her tiny tv.
3. get my own kitten. for once and for all: a cat that belongs to me, that loves only me, and won't have to be left behind if i get the urge to move again. i hate leaving behind the cats i live with! stupid owners.