Friday, March 17, 2006

totally overwhelmed

last night blogger was being a jerk and wouldn't let me publish my post! at least it let me save it so i could publish it this morning. i was going to write more, but all that stuff i wanted to talk about in regards to nebraska and the brown sheep mill is gone now, sorry. right now i'm more concerned with my stupid bank account and all the bills that showed up today and are demanding my attention. when i stop being broke, i will be so happy. i caught a glimpse of what a commission check looks like and JESUS. that could make a girl like me very happy. of course, it will do that much later. this week i have to figure out how to pay some bills without selling my plasma. fuck this is getting old. this is probably why i don't sleep; math was never my strong suit and now not only do i have to do math, but i have to do creative math. i feel like i keep digging a hole i'm never going to get out of, but that's part of the extended cost of moving.

the worst part is knowing that i'm so broke right now that even if wanted to, i can't move home. i had planned to be out for a few years at least, but now i know i will be because there's no way in hell i'll have the money to make a move this big again for at least three years, and when it's not your decision anymore, that's sort of a hard pill to swallow. at the same time, it's not like i hate it here, and i could sell a lot of my stuff, but you know? i just like being in control and the thing about money is that sometimes you aren't. sometimes you have to suck it up and realize that you are just going to have to deal. that's not the easiest thing in the world for me to admit, but if i've learned anything about myself during this move it's that i'm doing okay adjusting.

talking about the move is b-o-r-i-n-g. talking about finances is b-o-r-i-n-g. i have enough to get by, i think, so i'm going to go now before i bore you to death. i feel like i've become a one-trick pony! maybe i'll throw dating into the mix and then my pratfalls in that department will make for better writing. you can only hope.

2 comments:

Anne said...

Pretty cheap moving when you sell everything you own. Plus, you get to buy new stuff when you find a new place! None of that past baggage. It's like creating a new you!

Anonymous said...

Hey, if nothing else, dating can score you a couple free meals!

The job I started back in December required "business clothes" and I'd ditched a lot of mine since I hadn't worn them in 4 years. The local Salvation Army has been a Godsend. Living in Yuppie Hell, I am thrilled to get very expensive slightly used clothes for $2.99 each.

I also have learned to feed my family well cheap cheap cheap.

I hate not having money for going to the movies and out to the bar with my girlfriends, but creative accounting has taught me a lot!

Lisa