there's this boy that works next door to me. ever since the first time i saw him, i've thought he was sort of cute. not insanely cute, not the sort of cute that i would throw myself at, but everytime i'd see him i'd think something along the lines of "awww..." he's about my height, doesn't have a lot of hair on his head, but a good beard, a nice face and seems sort of laid-back. i have a wee crush on him, nothing serious, but i kind of like seeing him every day. plus, he works at the burrito place, which means if we get friendly i might get free burritos.
there's this car in the parking lot most days i'm at work. it's a blue thing, not quite an suv, not quite a mini-van or station wagon, but bigger than a normal car. it's covered in bumper stickers of the hippie variety; a dancing bear, a "war is bad for children and other living things," some animal stickers, and from the rear mirror hangs a rainbow-colored lei. personally, i have two stickers on my car, and even i think that's too many. this car, it has at least twenty. for months i've wondered who drives this car and how they can be so ridiculous. in my head i always make fun of this car when i see it, and lately there's been one bumper sticker in particular that just cracks me up. "keep tahoe seductive." um, okay. i had no idea places could be seductive, and honestly? out of all the words i'd use to describe a place, that's one adjective on the bottom of my list. i mock this sticker every time i see it. i make jokes in my head about making out with towns, and wonder what kind of moron puts a bumper sticker like that on their car. i mean really, what the fuck does that mean*?
you know where this is going right? the cute boy who works next door drives this car. of course he does! i can't even have a half-hearted crush on him now because he wants to keep tahoe seductive and i want to barf. he has a million bumper stickers on his car, and i have two. he probably doesn't even eat burritos. crushes are so much better when you know nothing about the other person.
*it gets worse. evidently the sticker is in reference to blue turtle seduction, a (gag) bluegrass jam band. oh god, i feel so dirty.
8 comments:
Are they his stickers or did the car come that way?
his car his too new for him to have inherited it that way. i'm sure of it!
Now, now, just because you don't like a boy's car doesn't mean he isn't worth the crush.....
Anything relating to the Grateful Dead is a dealbreaker for me, but hippies send me into a murderous rage - if you're okay with them, perhaps there's still hope?
we are only allowed the "static" decals because my husband is such a nazi....
hahahha. omg! i hate it when a burgeoning crush turns to shit like that! and you just know without a doubt that you can not have a crush on some dude who has a bluegrass band on his car. even if you happen to like a little bluegrass now and then.
I think it's probably a very clear clue as to what this guy is all about. And best to learn it through this type of "this is me" osmosis, than take the long and winding (and ultimately painful + time-wasting) path in finding out the truth.
I mean, for those who have always thought Tom Cruise was all that and a bag of whatever (eeww), there is evidence that what you see on the outside is not necessarily (or even OFTEN) what lives on the inside.
Crushes are so cool because they don't enter into reality. Sometimes, we're just better off with that. ~Tonya
Some possibly relevant history regarding the Tahoe bumper sticker:
My parents have a cabin at Lake Tahoe, so I've been going there since I was a fetus. Two things that make the lake special: its blueness, and its clarity (currently around 20 feet). Both are because the lake has very little nitrogen, and thus no algae. But, that has been changing with development around the lake. Starting in the early 80's, people started rallying to restrict runoff into the lake. The message was spread via bumper stickers that said "Keep Tahoe Blue". Those bumper stickers are pretty ubiquitous in parts of California, on both hippie ("I'm an environmentalist!") and yuppie ("I go to Tahoe!") cars.
My response (and pretty much any Northern Californian's) to reading his Tahoe bumper sticker is "what does seductive have to do with blue?".
Not sure that it makes his car any less hippie, but knowing that the band has the name "blue" in it makes the bumper sticker less creepy, at least to me.
Ashley
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