sometimes when i come home from work i turn on the computer and practically throw myself at it, hoping it will make me feel better. it does, although even if i feel like blogging right away i can't, or won't, because it's all workworkwork, and who the hell cares? even i care less when i'm not there. but lately it creeps into my thoughts at inopportune times, like last night at 1:44 a.m. (i know what time it was because i checked) when i woke straight up from a dream because i was sure i'd forgotten to do something small at work. my brain can't stop with the work because it doesn't know what to do with itself, and because honestly, there isn't anything else as big as it to distract me. maybe i need a nice crush or debilitating illness to focus on. or a really good idea for something. which! i did sort of have the other night too.
today was full of cossacks, one of whom we actually threw out of the store. lately within the first fifteen to twenty minutes of work someone comes in and yells at me, freaking out over something dumb (and something usually their fault) and today i was lucky enough to be yelled at by a crazy old lady missing a finger. the whole time she's yelling and telling me she knows she paid her bill i'm looking at her hand thinking, "i wonder how she lost that?" or else i was looking at the corners of her very dry eyes wondering if i'm going to look super-squinty when i get my crow's feet. my eyes aren't that big to start with, and i'm sure wrinkles are bound to make them look even smaller. i also thought long and hard about all the old ladies who hate me, and wondered why it is i invoke such rage in any woman over the age of sixty. you think i'm joking, but my own grandmother doesn't like me, which is just the tip of the very wrinkly iceberg.
i came home and found mom had done my after-easter-candy-shopping for me. i'm an asshole sometimes, but my mom likes me at least. which surprises me at times, because i'm not always so easy to get along with. ask any old lady, they'll agree.
2 comments:
Hey, I'm old(er) than you and I like you! Plus, Doris and Hal both like you. they tell us so everytime we talk to them...
Your grandmother doesn't really know you does she? On the other hand, I do know of a great aunt who thinks you are just perfect (and she doesn't neccessarly think her own daughters are anywhere near perfect)
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