neurotic families 'r us

i know D loves me, but i think he does not like it when i spend the afternoon with my mother.  it's not that he doesn't like my mom, it's not that he doesn't like me for that matter, but something about our relationship lately turns me into a seriously insecure teenage girl, and then he has to hear about it.  oops!  here is a short list of other things that my husband evidently does not like, but is always so cool about them that i rarely realize how much i'm annoying him;

1. all the painting supplies in the bathroom.  i like to paint things.  specifically, i like make retarded little watercolors, and lately i've taken to slapping acrylic paints on a variety of surfaces (wood and fabric and mailboxes), and all this means is that i use our downstairs bathroom to clean my brushes and tools.  D does not enjoy finding paintbrushes in with his toothbrush, and doesn't understand why i leave the sink spotted blue and red.  does he complain? no.  he likes to ask me what i'm doing though, and then say helpful things like, "don't you think you should do that in the kitchen?" followed with "could you wipe out the sink?" 
2. all of the wall painting supplies in the kitchen.  it's not enough to get watercolors and acrylics all over! no, sometimes i need to paint walls and then do annoying things like leave my rollers on the kitchen counter.  i suck!
3. he's kind about it, but i know for a fact that having a knitting project going on in the living room, an embroidery project in the family room, and a stack of books taking up part of our bed isn't his idea of a good time.  because of that, i am working on making sure that i finish more projects than i start, and at the very least corralling them into a basket when i'm done and putting them out of the way.  

he's never a jerk about this sort of thing, though.  and i hate to say it, but i think he has some good points and thanks to him, i'm trying to be more conscientious about the space i take up in the house.  i was a single, crafty lady for a long time, it's hard for me to keep all my stuff in once place!  i'm getting better, though.  honest!

it's a no camping summer for us

getting married and moving took a lot out of us, both financially and emotionally.  i'm not complaining! for the most part, we're having a good time this summer and honestly just getting into the swing of home-owning and renovating.  my oregon family, though, is out on the big summer camping trip this weekend, and we are not.  sigh. 

instead of being in tents and being with our people, we are sticking close to home. for the most part!  the girlchild and i are headed to the island to hit up a birthday party the park, and do some back-to-school shopping with my mom.  the boychik is going to apply for a job today, or else i'm going to strangle him.  i'm hoping today to also have something made with ice cream, and maybe see the beach.  my ratty old summer shorts are clean for a change, so i suppose i should take a shower and get ready for the day.  at the moment it's me and the cat on the couch, listening to some john doe and drinking coffee.  it's not a tent, and there aren't cousins scrambling around and shouting, and i haven't missed a camping trip for YEARS but we'll survive.  dear oregon, we miss you! we'll be thinking about you this weekend. 

home owners, in a way

everyone knows we just moved a few months ago, right after getting married.  what you might not realize is that my in-laws technically bought the house and are now our mortgage holders.  this month we finally sat down and figured out what we need to do to become honest to goodness home owners.  well, my in-laws have been figuring this stuff out, and tomorrow they finalize the paperwork with their attorney.

we thought we were pretty on the ball; while we have not been saving every penny coming in, we also haven't been throwing any huge parties or spending money on tattoos or hot rods.  talking to our folks tonight we were hit with kind of a big expense right out the door that we were not aware of.  i don't think anyone was, to be honest, and while D and i wanted to hyperventilate (OMG they want how much? when?!), the in-laws were calm and collected and assured us that they could and would wait another month for rent money.  we wanted to show them what our budget was and where our money is going every month, but you know what they said? "don't worry, we trust you.  and we know where you live." 

have i mentioned lately how much i love my in-laws?  being in this house means rent is a bit cheaper, the house is ours, our credit ratings are improving, and next year when the boychik graduates from high school, we should be in a position to be helpful parents. that feels good.  it's terrifying, but ultimately for the best.  there's no way a bank would help us out at this point in our life, and this just puts us forward a year or two (or ten).   

living room curtains

part of our "home renovation" planning has been based on two things; trying to temper my love of all things color, and trying to keep the cost down.  truth be told, i really like making stuff, so keeping things somewhat inexpensive isn't too hard.  the yellow wall cost us $15, and guess what? my husband loved it.

one of the things about D that is so frustrating, is that if you ask him hypothetical questions, like, "how would you feel about the color yellow in the kitchen?" he will not give you an answer.  he will simply insist, over and over, that he doesn't know, that he would have to see it to give you an opinion.  if you ask, "would yellow walls make you want to kill your wife?" he still won't cop to a yes or no.  he claims he simply cannot "see" something before he can actually SEE it.  he will sometimes say, "i might like that," but that's as close to an answer as you can get with him.

i had what i thought was an awesome idea for curtains for our living room the other day.  i did a few drawings, showed him where things would go, and showed him some photos i was using for inspiration.  what did he say? you guessed it, he said he thought it sounded like my idea would work, but he would have to see it before giving deciding if he liked it or not.  i feel like we've been together long enough that him saying that is my green light.  in any case, that's how i use it! so today i started making our living room curtains.  (more after the jump)

i might not be the best wife

today on a whim i totally painted one of the walls in the kitchen a bright, sunshine-y yellow.  without asking or consulting with my husband at all.  the girlchild agreed with me that the color was awesome, so i bought it and now it's up there, no take-backs! 

unfortunately for D, he married a woman who loves color.  if i had my way, i'd buy a bright orange futon cover for the upstairs, to co-ordinate with all my random stripey pillows and the technicolor afghan.  the upstairs part of our house is just so...neutral.  which is okay, because it means it's super easy to liven up with a coat of paint, or a bright orange couch! if D had his way, our house would be outfitted in woodland colors, lots of soft greens and browns and varying shades of "shrub."  personally, i just can't live like that. 

i don't think he'll divorce me for today's color shenanigans, mainly because i bought a really soft blue for the bedroom.  he won't be able to argue with that! (i hope.)

daydreaming

the decemberists are doing a series of posters for every town they visit for their current tour.  every one of them i've seen has been lovely; whenever i get a little facebook message about a new one, i start daydreaming about buying some to frame and hang up in the house. 

 these are just a few of the ones i'd love to get my hands on! putting them up here i realize that they all have similar colors.  i've really been enjoying warm, orangey-yellow tones lately.  as if you couldn't tell.

before i go rushing out to buy any posters, though, i need to frame a lovely nikki mcClure print D and i got as a wedding present.  it's this pretty one. again, more orange!  it was D's favorite wedding present.  he loved that the couple were kissing in the kitchen, with the jars of fruit in the foreground.  our first kiss was in the kitchen, and so he's romantic about that.  who are we kidding, i am too.   

things i want to do as far as the house goes

the theory behind this post is that once i make a list, and make that list public, i'll work harder to get stuff done. 

• paint our bedroom.
• make curtains for our bedroom.
• make curtains for the girlchild's room.
• the boychik needs some too.
• how about some for the living room as well? that way we can wander around like slobs and the neighbors won't know!
• get a futon cover for the futon.
• buy a roku box or something so we can watch netflix on the tv.
• we need a coffee table! or a tv stand so we can use what we're using for that now as a coffee table.
• we also need a couch. in a serious way.
• the girlchild needs a new bed.  this is kind of D's job; he'll be the one building it.
• both kids need new paint in their rooms.
• i'd like a new futon cover for our room.

this is a good start, yes? 

the joys of starting stuff!

i am making a concerted effort to finish the crafty projects i have going before starting new ones.  which means i have to finish the pillowcase i'm embroidering before i can start playing with blackwork.  so far, so good.  there is just something so delightful about a new project! ugh. it's killing me! i have a million awesome ideas, all of which i want to try right this second.

also killing me is the fact that we are still living surrounded by boxes.  i know part of that is my fault, but i also know i shouldn't be the only one working on putting stuff away.  i am such a stubborn jackass at times.  i admit i can also be seriously passive-aggressive; i don't want to do all the unpacking, but do i tell my husband that i want him to do some too? that would be no.  i'm going to go upstairs right now and set a timer for twenty minutes and see what i can get done.

wish me luck! or come over and help.  i'll take either right now!

random list of things i am loving

• making the baba ganoush, while D does the hard work of actually making the pitas.  okay, it's not that difficult, but i like it when he makes the pitas. 
• bjork!  we watched sucker punch the other night and one of the things i noticed was a) the soundtrack kicked ass, and b) it was all covers except for bjork.  because, really, how on earth could anyone cover bjork?!  that's right, you can't.  i had to go pick up some old bjork albums to scratch that odd icelandic itch, and now of course i think i should go all the way back to the sugarcube days. 
• jeremiah weed "spiked cola."  yes, it is indeed a malt beverage, which i know means that i am one classy broad.  it's just seriously delicious, and sometimes i want a rum/whiskey and coke and don't feel like buying a whole bottle of either and/or going out.  my problem is solved! thank you, kind folks at jeremiah weed.
• the smell of the coals heating to cook dinner over.  dear diary, i love any kind of grilled goodness.  
• i recently discovered blackwork embroidery.  i'm not sure why it took so long, but now that i've found it, i'm fairly smitten.  i've been doing more cross-stitch in general lately, but i think blackwork is next on my list of things to try. 

needle-y goodness

we all know that for the past few years, knitting has been my craft of choice.  there's something about the click of the needles as you work, the feel of the yarn, the feeling of making something BIG (or small), and the fact that i'm not really that good at it that has kept me entranced for longer than most hobbies i start.  i really love knitting. i think it's helped make me more patient, and also increased my crafty self-esteem.  i'm mostly self-taught, so every new thing i learn is kind of a big deal to me, even though there are a LOT of things i haven't mastered yet.  with knitting i'm coming to a point where i finally feel confident enough about my abilities to make stuff up, to just wing it on occasion.  there are also so many things to learn with knitting; it's kind of an inexhaustible craft. there will literally always be something new to try.

remember when my needles of choice used to be embroidery? yeah, me too.  the past few days i've done some embroidering and am remembering what i love about that craft. it's quieter and requires more attention, which i forgot.  i like the way the stitches feel under my fingers.  i like making something that started as a simple, plain thing (like a dishcloth or pillowcase) and making it more than that.  i like the old fashioned-ness of it. (wait, i like that about knitting, too.) knowing that i'm doing it, my mom did it, my grandmothers did it, etc, is such a nice thought to me. i like being part of that line of crafty ladies, making my house a home, expressing myself through needles and string.  a quiet afternoon spent working on something, listening to the radio or some music, is quite possibly the nicest afternoon i think of.

the terror that is unpacking

i'm not sure why unpacking is always such a chore for me.  you would think i would be so excited to move into a new place, to make it my own, that i would just yank everything out of boxes and throw it all any and everywhere.  instead, i'm ridiculously slow at it.  i think too hard about where things should go, about what the ramifications of putting baking items in that cupboard as opposed to this cupboard will be, forgetting all the time that if i don't like the first place i put it, i can move it!  this time i'm also faced with my passive-aggressive mom-ness.  i'm hating that for whatever reason, no one feels like they need to do anything unless i ask.  for some reason, the task of unpacking and making house decisions is all mine, and that feels bogus to me.  i'm not a dictator in an apron, i promise.

instead of unpacking i'm looking at boxes and making plans, and doing some knitting. there is nothing more fun that starting a new project and watching it grow.  it's especially fun to work on something that's going to be a present.  i'm not terribly superstitious (i like to think) but i do subscribe to the idea that thinking good thoughts while working on something translates into the finished project.  that's why a lot of things i was working on when my dad was going through radiation got scrapped in the end.  doing the actual knitting and embroidering while waiting for him at the clinic was good for me in that it kept my hands busy and gave me something else to fuss over, but whenever i finished something i had to get rid of it because all i could think of what them poking and prodding him, his discomfort, the nasty radiation burn across his cheek and neck.  it felt like it would be bad juju to give those items to anyone else, too, so i threw most of them away.

i've been thinking about my dad a lot lately.  the other night while unpacking i ran across a xmas gift list he'd sent me, and it reduced me to tears.  i miss those little lists, how detailed they were, how he'd tell you not just what he'd like to get, but about how much it would cost and where you could find it.  D thought that was a bit fussy, but i explained that for my pop that just made sense.  he bought the things he wanted for himself, but knew we wanted to buy him things for xmas, so he made it easy on us.  he didn't want us to feel like we had no idea what we were doing, and he was open to getting things that weren't on the list.  he also wasn't a dictator in an apron.  it's funny the things that make me think of him, the things i miss.  the sound of his boots on linoleum, the smell of his aftershave, the way he would always announce "bump!" in the car when he saw a sign warning you of the same thing.  the pain of losing him isn't as overwhelming now as it was in the beginning, but it does kind of hide out and wait for me some afternoons.  grief is a strange monster.

sewing!

after finishing the painting in the nook, i broke it in this afternoon by sewing some curtain panels for the big window in there.  overall, i like the way they turned out, but more than anything, it just felt good to turn on my ipod and sew away.  it went from being dour and rainy and cool to being ridiculously hot and humid out here in the pacific northwest, so sitting in front of an oscillating fan in the downstairs was nice.  it's the coolest spot in the house! 

here is a tiny after and before shot (because i got them backwards!).  look at what a difference a coat of paint makes!  the carpet is the same, because a) it's weird and b) i kind of like it and c) it's not really financially feasible to get rid of it or replace it at this time.  i dig that this is the original carpet as well.  says a lot about my little house! 

over and under-whelmed

the process of going through your belongings is the coolest and worst thing you can go through.  weeding out stuff you don't need to keep feels good, at the same time i've been spending a lot of time wondering why i kept any of that old junk.  i'm also traipsing down memory lane every five minutes, which makes for slow going.  i wish i could say i was less attached to "things," that i had a more buddhist relationship to physical objects, but i am most certainly not that enlightened.  holding something from a specific time in my life feels good.  notes written from friends past and present are nice to read. knowing that i was thought of, cared about, that someone put a stamp on a letter from far away, just for me, is an ego boost.  which isn't to say my self esteem is so bad i need that kind of thing (i can't quit any time i like! get off my back!), but i think more people can relate to that feeling than not.

in any case, it's too humid to paint the nook, so i'm trying to pare down the things that will eventually live in there.  it's not exciting, and when i look at all the boxes i have to go through, i want to weep (i am a packrat, although i am a packrat who is getting better).  i'm not bad enough to be a tv show yet, so let's just keep it that way, shall we? 

home again, home again!

went to portland for a long weekend with the kids.  for a minute there, i thought about not taking them because they were making me so freaking crazy, but that felt like a dick move, even to me.  we ended up having an awesome time; we did a lot of lazing about, reading, playing video games, and eating delicious things.  then, surprise surprise, when anne and aaron brought up the idea of the kids staying a bit longer, they went for it.  so i came home alone! i thought the kids would want to come home, see their friends, all that jazz, but they really (really) like anne and aaron and the boys, and were having too much fun to leave.  D and i would use this as a little honeymoon, but we both have to work this week.  so we'll be using this week kid-free to have some date nights and (cross your fingers) get some stuff around the house done.  i picked up some awesome things from Ikea, so i want to finish painting my nook and then get my stuff settled in there. 

right now, though, i want to take a nice shower.  the weather got hot and muggy all at once, and i feel like i'm coated in a thin layer of gross. 

look...

i know it's not a completely original complaint, but goddamn i hate working for ten hours, dealing with people with shitty pants and weirdo tumors that i have to touch, only to come home and find that no one has done a fucking thing to clean up after themselves.  dishes all over the kitchen, empty cans of beer on the counters, books and papers all over the living room, you get the idea.  i don't know about you, but i find it just as exhausting to have to leave lists of things for the kids to do as clean it up myself. because seriously?! you can't see what needs to be put up away? you really like the shrill tone my voice takes when i'm irritated?

i hate hate hate being the nagging mom-person.  i hate that i feel like this. i hate that the house is trashed and no one gives a fuck.  i hate that i have to bug my husband to do anything, and now that we're married his favorite thing to do is point out how little i "contribute" financially, meaning, "i know you work all day but you don't make as much as i do, so maybe you can shut up about the dishes."  or maybe that's just what i think it means.  i know he works hard, and i know his schedule is weird and he comes home at odd hours of the day, but if it doesn't kill me to take twenty minutes to tidy things up, why should it kill him?

tonight i am going to hide in my room with the netflix and a cocktail, and everyone can fend for themselves.  the end. 

weird things about my family, part one million and three

did you know my husband really only eats late late late at night, and that the bulk of his diet is comprised of mayonnaise and blue cheese dressing?  i exaggerate a little, but only that: a little.  the man is never hungry until 11 at night, and often has his first meal then, followed by a "snack" at 3 a.m.  i think part of that has to do with his late night work schedule, and part of it has to do with his deep and abiding love of mayo. 

sunday morning

for some ungodly reason, i woke up at 7 this morning.  i rarely wake up that early, even when i'm supposed to be at work at 7. i've already had two cups of coffee, finished reading a book, and folded some clothes.  WTF. of course, everyone else is still asleep so i'm trying to be quiet and not wake them up.  everyone is on a night-owl schedule, since the kids don't have school and D's been working late night bar shifts.  i admit i like staying up late as well, but lately i'm stuck in a weird awake in the morning and therefore sleepy when everyone else wants to hang out mode. 

i think i'll watch some breaking bad now, fold some more clothes, and drink some more coffee.  then when everyone else wakes up, i'll go take a nap.  ha! i'm also excited about doing some more painting in the nook.  it's coming along nicely.

paint!

behr ultra paint and primer, "moonlit pool"

my first painting project in the new house is the tiny room off the master room, known as the nook.  it's a weird little space, i think it was used mainly for storage.  it's big enough for a good sized table and bookshelf, has a great big window that gets a good amount of light, and so i snagged it for myself.  it will be my little hidey-spot, for crafty things and hanging up/enjoying the art i love that D isn't necessarily as charmed by.  the trim is going to be a bright white (the name of it is "frost," doesn't that just sound amazing?), and i'm looking forward to making my own space. 

had a nice afternoon being lazy, visiting yet another hardware store (since moving into a house of our own, we love to wander around thinking about stuff we can do!), and trying out a new chinese buffet with the boychik.  as usual the food was so-so, but i cannot and will not pass up an opportunity to smother everything with sweet and sour sauce.  it's like crack to me. 

one of my favorite people in the whole wide world, my nephew tiernan, had a pretty serious surgery last week.  no one wants to hear about a kid getting poked and prodded and opened up like a can of sardines, and this was no exception to that rule.  the good news is that not only was the kid a rockstar about the whole thing (no complaining, no whining, no freaking out about the IVs), but he got to go home early and is now hanging out, playing his DSi, and trying not to itch his incision.  i got to talk to him this morning, and it made me feel seriously good.  he sounds just like himself, and i can't wait to see him and his brother next week and spoil them rotten with ice cream and cartoons.  i felt so anxious the day of the surgery, even though the prognosis was excellent (very few kids react badly to the surgery, most get sicker from the anesthesia), and hearing his chipper little voice today went a long way in making me feel like he's on the mend. we also had a cute conversation about how patting his chest to help with the itch is a lot like patting a scabbing tattoo when it itches.  such a sweet boy!  i'm taking at least one of the kids down there next week to hang out and watch cartoons and play scribblenauts, and maybe get some sun.  i can hardly wait!

house-work

i don't know if it's the good weather or we're just feeling motivated, but we've gotten a lot done around the house lately.  seriously.  rooms have been adjusted, boxes unpacked, beds set up, plants planted.  i also got D's computer up and running, and have finally been able to properly pore through all 856 photos from the wedding.  yes, 856.  give or take three.  needless to say, i've spent big chunks of yesterday and today uploading and organizing and ordering photos.  to see more than you ever needed to see of me in a big white dress, go over here.  

i would also like to say our plan of winnowing down possessions and simplifying things around the house is actually going pretty well.  it's slowing down the unpacking (the same way it slowed down the packing!) but it's worth it.  it feels so good to get rid of stuff! 

sunday night awesome

have you seen party down?  i just discovered it on netflix, and am IN LOVE.  i used to work as a caterer for my mother's small company back in college, and while our crew was a lot smaller, it does make me a little nostalgic for the old job.  oh, and it's funny as all shit.  i just got to the jennifer coolidge episodes, and the one where she is on shrooms and joking about her green merkin being too small made me full on guffaw out loud.  MERKIN.  always funny.  i also watched a patton oswalt special the other day that made me laugh so hard the kids came down to check in on me.  i think they think i'm mildly retarded. ha!

we also made ice cream yesterday with one of our THREE ice cream makers. my mom bought D one for xmas, which he has used once.  we got two for our wedding, when we had zero on our registry.  one of them makes a lot of ice cream and uses ice, the other one is an awesome cuisinart stand-alone.  normally i could give two shits about ice cream, but we bought ingredients the other day because it was hot and i thought the girlchild and her friends would dig making it.  we used pineapple, toasted coconut and mini chocolate chips.  it was epic!  so tonight we made coffee ice cream.  also amazing.  we ate it right out of the maker before freezing some for tomorrow.  i went from not really caring about ice cream, to being totally sold on making it at home and glad we have so many options for making it.  

the neighbors are all doing fireworks, so the cat is hiding out in our room under the dresser.  she doesn't seem too irritated, she keeps rolling over for belly pets and meowing for attention.  she just isn't coming out from under there any time soon.

it's a mental health friday!

i only had two patients today, and one incredible jackass for a tech, so i called out.  i know, that's terrible, isn't it? only i don't feel bad.  at all.  instead, i'm excited about having an extra day to get stuff done!  here is a list of things i hope to do this weekend:

• unpack more boxes.  
• specifically, make the kitchen a lot more livable.  it's the room we use the most, so it kind of needs to be organized.
• make a bird feeder.  i saw this neat one and thought it would look cool in our yard.  my main tech and co-worker was a bird biologist before he got into MRI.  i have always loved birds, but not really known much about them.  since working with him the past few years, i've learned a lot.  he doesn't use a feeder; he prefers to sprinkle seed on the ground and watch from his deck, but i think i would also like to have a feeder.  the bird watching site linked above has a tremendous amount of information.
• my mom bought me a beautiful red maple that i want to find a place for as well.  it's still in its pot, but it needs to find a home in our yard!

the only other things going on over here are lots of masters of horror on the netflix, some bran muffin making (i know it sounds crazy, but the bob's red mill recipe is so good! i add coconut, flax seeds and dried cranberries, and they get gobbled up.), and some comic book reading.  that's one of the awesome things about no tv, we're all reading a lot more.  the move also uncovered some calvin and hobbes books, which we are all enjoying.  now i'm going to go drink some coffee, eat a muffin, and read up on the birds in my area.  i am already loving this friday!  

sans TV

we've been without the tv for a little over a week.  dropping cable in the summer is kind of cheating; nothing new is on anyway, and it's (supposedly) nice enough to spend time outside doing other things.  however, we are all acclimating pretty quickly, and it wasn't until this afternoon that i actually though, "man, i'd like to go home and plop down on the couch."  FYI, we also are sans couch right now.  the old couch, it was gross.  it was free.  it was ugly.  it got taken to the dump, where the boys were lucky enough to see it smashed into a billion pieces with a very large tractor/trash mover. 

so yeah, no place to flop, nothing to watch tv on, what the hell are we doing?

making friends with netflix.  doing summer homework (that would be the girlchild).  watching insane amounts of kung fu and samurai films (boychik).  playing with the neighbor girls (girlchild!).  painting swatches of paint on the walls (me!).  going through boxes of old art and craft supplies and weeding out old/unused stuff (also me).  making lists of things we want to do in the new house, including,

• build a storage couch.  this is D's newest idea and i'm open to it.  i figure the hardest part will be the upholstery, but worse case scenario, we can start with a slipcover and go from there!
• do more embroidery.
• work on knit xmas gifts.
• read more (all of us!)
• grow a small garden.
• take more shorter/weekend family trips.  
• go outside more.
• watch less tv.  hah! fooled you with that one.  

i think we're well on our way.  tonight i actually made a somewhat healthy, home-cooked meal, and am getting ready to go lounge and knit and correct someone's summer homework.  is it wrong how much i LOVE pulling out my red pen?  putting stickers on good work and making what i think are helpful suggestions for the future?  because if it is, then i am oh so very wrong.  man, that's one thing i miss about being a T.A. in college: correcting papers.  i miss that and my tiny, stinky office and drinking shitty coffee late at night while fixing spelling errors and reading essays.  sometimes i think i missed my calling... 

psst...

over here! want to know a secret? last week i took a second vicoden too soon after the first, and ended up needing a ride home from work and then i barfed.  since then i've been afraid to take them, and have only taken half of one at a time.  that wasn't working, so i bit the bullet and took a whole one tonight.  guess what? i feel awesome and wish i'd done this earlier today so i could have gotten more done.  dammit. 

i will never go back to the other house again

neither will LuLu.  man, this cat loves the new carpet at this place.  it's soft, it's thick, it's cozy, and she has taken to flopping everywhere.  she especially loves to plop down in places where you might trip over her (like doorways!), and she's also discovered that darting between your feet while you're walking up or down stairs is seriously fun.  the cat might be the death of us.
 
it took what felt like forever, but we are finally, once and for all, done with the old house.  we still have a lot of unpacking and organizing to do at this house, but at least we can focus all our energy to here and not there.  i admit i've been feeling kind of tense, which makes me suzy sunshine, but i can't help it!  i just feel like there is so much to do and i want it all done yesterday.  my back is still royally fucked up, my sinuses have decided to jump in on the pain wagon, i'm sick to death of taking any kind of pain medication.  i'm set up to start some physical therapy soon for my back, which i think will help.  i might also see a chiropractor.  i also need to maybe take a deep breath and realize that stuff will get unpacked when it does, and as long as i can find towels for taking showers and my scrubs, we're doing okay.  the rest can wait. 

i've been going through fabrics too, getting rid of ones i've held on to for far to long.  anyone doing any serious quilting or sewing and want some fabric? drop me a line and i'll let you know what i have.

i also put some new plants out front, and bought some catnip for guess who.  she took a bite of the fresh stuff today and i think it blew her kitten mind.  i have to say, watching her acclimate to the house and neighborhood has been the one bright spot in all the moving shenanigans.  i'm endlessly amused at how amazing she finds it all, and watching her discover new nooks to hide, and new spots to perch, and seeing her happy tail and fluffy tummy all the time is pretty rad.  the kids are also beyond cheerful; the girlchild made friends already with the little girls across the street and the boychik loves his new room.  he's made it a cozy little man nest already.  we're all settling in, and that feels pretty good.  i love planning what i'm going to paint the walls and where i want to move things.  i just wish i felt better and could get more done!

FLOP

i just spent three of the longest days of my life trying to move out of one house and into another.  OMG i hate moving so much.  i hate that we have a million books, and that a quarter of them are insanely huge and heavy cook books. i have a love/hate relationship to the weather; one day it rained and i hated it, and the next two it was hot and muggy and i hated that too.  oh wait, i guess that makes it a hate/hate relationship.  i hate that we busted ass for three days, but glad that we did because we got more done than i thought we could.  i hate that the kids keep asking me where things are.  um, your guess is as good as mine.  i especially hate being asked if i've seen this or that book.  DUDES, really?  do you see it in the piles?

i do love the icy cold beer i have in my hands right now, knowing i get to take a shower in my rocking new bathroom tomorrow morning,  folding clean clothes, and the feeling of washing your face after a long, dusty, sweaty day.  i'm kind of sad we couldn't convince LuLu to come over with us, but i bet a night alone will change her mind. 

my body and brain are jello.  i do believe i will finish my beer, watch an old movie, and put more books away. 

up too late

pretty much every night this week.  then i'm late to work the next morning, confused when my alarm goes off, and generally useless that first hour.  fun times for my co-worker.  if he weren't such a laid back dude, i would be able to raise his blood pressure with my consistent disregard for clocks. 

since getting married, i've seen my husband about three times, and he's taken to sleeping in the living room.  that sounds shitty when i write it down, but it's the truth.  our schedules are complete and total opposites right now, even with all my staying up late.  he works until at least 1 or 2 in the morning, and i get up at 6.  on a good night he comes home as i'm heading to bed and i get a quick kiss before lying down.  this is new for both of us; things at the restaurant he works at have changed (the place itself got a make-over, people are going on and off vacations, and D made himself imminently available, which they've taken full advantage of), we need the money for the move and stuff, and while the wedding was awesome and i'm still glad we're married, this past month has kind of sucked.  in as much as i married a man i don't get to see a lot of, and you know, i kind of like him so that bums me out.  we spend most of our time talking about the move, what's going on with the kids and school (guess what! both decided to have shitty last quarters!), and things we'd do to each other if we had either the time or energy.

while this makes my life sound both boring and shitty, it really isn't.  it's just having a boring, shitty spell right now.  once we are moved, get settled, and start having barbeques in the backyard, i think everything will be a-okay. 

technology i am loving

• podcasts!  how did i ever live before podcasts?  i love NPR, i love the radio, i love listening to people to talk, but with a podcast i can do it anywhere, at any time.  that is awesome.  
• wireless internet. i was trying to explain to the girlchild the other day why we used to have "telephone tables," a place where you had the phone and a notepad and often someplace to sit.  i was telling her about how phones used to have cords, and you had to just sit there to talk.  she was aghast.  i kind of feel that way about using the internet now.  weird.
• my keurig coffee maker.  my co-worker made a wise statement the other day about how coffee makers are costing more money to make smaller amounts of coffee.  while he's right about that, i love that i can pop in that little cup, push a button, and thirty seconds later have a cup of coffee.  i know it's fresh, hasn't been sitting around for a while getting burnt, and i don't make four cups i don't need.  plus, the coffee maker itself is fun to use.  
• my kindle.  or rather, the boychik's kindle that i like to think i acquired through eminent domain.  (oh really, we all know i started using it and got hooked!)  being that we are in the process of moving about five thousand books from one to another, i appreciate my kindle even more.  there are about forty-five books on there already, and it still weighs the same. 

ack

i did not get as much done today as i wanted to, but we do have gas and internet/phone over at the new house.  i spent some time there today washing dishes (in the dishwasher!) and putting them away, unpacking boxes, doing laundry (we got a lot of new towels for the wedding, which is awesome) and waiting.  my mother-in-law came over and helped me line shelves, which was super nice because a) i'm not really very detail oriented sometimes and so b) they looked a lot neater and nicer because she was in charge. 

the difference between the two houses is amazing.  coming back to the rental is a downer; not just because there's still so much left to pack (and there is!), but because it's darker and not as spacious.  i wish my back would also get better.  since messing it up before the wedding, it is not the same, and i've had continuous pain for a little over two weeks now.  my lower back hurts pretty much all the time, and lifting anything that weighs more than five pounds is no fun. my left shoulder and elbow are also kind of wonky and achey right now too.  i feel like i have crabby old lady joints!  i think i might have done too much knitting and strained that left side.  i can't tell if that makes me a bad-ass crafter or a retard.  ugh.  in any case, my body is not cooperating with my mind, and the menthol back patches aren't really working.  i might need to go ahead and get the heated ones, take a ton of ibuprofen, and just power through. 

i did warn both kids that this weekend i'm getting them hopped on caffeine and exploiting their labor.  they can have ice cream when we're done.  i also really really really want to buy paint for our bedroom and get started on that.  i think in my nook i'll use this color (or something similar), but i want a warm-ish grey for the bedroom.  initially i wanted a creamy yellow, but the paint already in there is kind of dark, and the more i see grey tones, the more i love them. it's neutral without being tan, and will dress up or down nicely.  have any of you painted inside recently?  would you recommend a brand?  the glidden was easy to pick up samples for, but i hear behr covers nicer and wears well.    

some pictures for you

 the new family room!  while the living room upstairs is lovely, and i'm sure we'll use it often, this is the room we're planning on putting the tv and stuff.  it's got a supremely mellow vibe, and in the summer it's nice and cool since it's sort of underground, and in the winter, it's cozy because it's got a fireplace.

 yesterday while waiting for the new washer and drier to be installed, i made the first cup of coffee in our fancy new coffee maker!  needless to say, it was delicious. 

look at our cute new washer and drier!  i'm excited about breaking them in.  i can't tell if that is pathetic or awesome.  in any case, they are quiet and eco-friendly and blue, and i'm a happy girl.

after doing some house things yesterday, D and i took a long drive to nowhere.  i had a great time. i think D had fun too, but was also busy thinking about all the stuff we still need to do at the new and old houses, and so he might not have had as much fun as i did.  we stopped for a beer at the north fork brewery, drove up a curvy, scary logging road to watch paragliders, and we saw all three forks of the nooksack river.  it was nice to just be out in the sun, people and scenery watching.

today we get to wait around for various people to come set things up at the new house, which is kind of lame.  i hate the whole, "we'll be there between 8 and 5."  really?  you can't narrow it down to a morning or afternoon time?  i guess i should take a shower and pack up the car with another load and go relieve D.

ohmygod moving sucks so much

but the new house is so freaking awesome that i know it's going to be worth it.  KNOW IT. 

the kids are busy making me crazy and in turn, i think i'm adding new grey hairs to my streak.  when i get enough of them, i'm going to start dying them hot pink.  i might be close.

black cherry juice concentrate can also be added to any drink every made and make it better.  i'm so glad anne left half a bottle in my fridge!

i also bought a new home phone today, and that was sort of exciting.  i also had to buy those stick on heating pads for my back, and that was not as exciting. 

i might still have a few more wedding blogs posts in store

i can't help it!  man, you work so hard at throwing a massive, hopefully kick-ass party, and then you have things to say about it afterward.  i know i set up a whole different blog for this sort of thing, but OH WELL you are just going to have to deal.

things about my wedding that i still think were awesome ideas:

1. the blue shoes.  seriously.  it was kind of a lark; i spent most of my time looking at red ones, or glittery ones, but then the girlchild picked out her dress and it all fell into place.  
2. wearing my dad's turquoise bracelet.  for me it was a nice way to be close to him on such an important day.  that it matched the dress the girlchild picked out, and D's tie, was kind of a happy coincidence.  or sign from god.  or kismet.  pick one and run with it!
3. hiring the awesome genevieve to do the photos.  seriously.  we got a CD of images last night, and i spent most of today looking at them with D and being amazed.  she did such a great job of catching all sorts of little moments, and all of the photos just look so happy.  i mean, i know we were having an awesome time, but i wasn't sure that would be apparent in photos.  she let us be relaxed and have fun, and while she did give us some direction, she also went with the flow.  i've never had so much fun having my picture taken!
4. near the end of our wedding planning (the last month before the wedding) i had to really come to terms with how i wanted things to look.  i had been getting a lot of advice from family members, and while all of it was genuine and well-meaning, some of it missed the point.  at one point i said to D, "this is just isn't how i wanted it to look," and he listened to me and said, "yeah, so let's do it your way."  it was hard to say, "no, we've got it covered!" but i'm glad we did.  our wedding wasn't a white trash celebration, but it also wasn't overly fussy.  i think the end result was personal, pretty, and relaxed, and made people feel at home.  i might be wrong (i wasn't a real guest, you know), but it seemed like people were having fun and that made me feel good.  

the only thing i would do differently would be to get my flowers two days before the wedding.  i bought mine wholesale from costco, and while they were both lovely and cost-effective, the day after the wedding they really opened up and looked amazing.  which isn't to say they looked like poop at the service, but man! the day after they were open and gorgeous.  i might also spend more time breaking in my shoes.  i don't wear heels enough to have left that for the last minute!  other than that, i wouldn't change a thing, and really?  those things did not detract from my day.  we had a good time, we saw the people we love, we ate crazy amounts of pie, and got to go home together.  sweet.  

(also! i updated the flickr set of our wedding photos with a ton more stuff.  if you are into that sort of thing, go check them out!)

walking down the aisle music

D and i walked down the aisle to a mark mothersbaugh song from the royal tenenbaums. we used the song that etheline was supposed to use when she first tried to marry henry sherman, called mothersbaugh canon.  seriously.  i liked that it was pretty without being overly flowerly, how it was kind of like pachabel's canon, and how it came from one of my very favorite movies.  plus, the guy from DEVO wrote it, and you can't buy that kind of indie cred.

mr. mothersbaugh, we salute you! 



after the ceremony, we used mutato musizka's (mothersbaugh!) version of hey jude, along with other instrumental mothersbaugh pieces.  it was awesome.  of course, i'm biased, so you may take that with a grain of salt.   

dear anne,

today i promise to move some boxes into the new house.  my plan is to move all my big knitting boxes (yarn aweigh!), all my sewing and fabric boxes, and whatever else i have that is conveniently in storage boxes.  honest. 

xoxo amanda

new hair!

not the greatest photo, but you can see i took a whole four to five inches off.  you should have seen the pile of hair!  it looked like a small dog.  the cool thing about it is i can straighten it (like it is in this photo) and it looks great, but if i leave it alone, it gets wavy and also looks good.  it feels a million pounds lighter and that will be useful if we ever get sun again.   

one week!

i've been married now for seven whole days.  i got asked a lot this week, "so do you feel different?"  the answer is, "yes."  it's hard to explain, but i don't feel like everything is just the same old, same old.  part of it is afterglow from all the lovey-dovey days leading up to and including the wedding, part of it is a generalized feeling of "wow."  i keep thinking to myself, "i got married!"  in getting married, that means everyone knows how much i love him, how much he loves me, and our intentions to be together for a long ass time. so it's not like i love him more, but more a sense that our families and friends are on board.  in a very general, overwhelming way, it feels really good to be married.  it's a subtle difference, but different anyway.  it's awesome.  i always felt like we were a good team before, but now i'm ready to buy us uniforms with our names embroidered on them.    

people were surprised to see me back at work this week, everyone thought i'd take some time off for moving but guess what?  i'm retarded and want to save that vacation time for the summer.  i have three day weekends and strong kids, so no taking time off for moving!  plus, i think next week i'll just rent a truck for a day and we can do it all at once.  whatever it costs will be worth it to not have to make a million trips.

i also cut off all my hair this week, downloaded and printed the million and two forms it takes to change your name, and sent out a billion thank you cards (i still have some left to do, of course).  overall, i think my first week of wedded bliss went well.  it's too early to tell, but i think i might be a kick-ass wife.  

also, here is the song we picked for our first dance. okay, our only dance. it's hard to dance when everyone wants to talk to you!

now it's house time!

we got the keys to our new house yesterday, and i was so tired that i didn't even go over there.  can you believe that?  i can, because i honestly felt like someone had beat me with a sock full of oranges.  tonight i'm actually starting to feel human again, so i headed over this evening with D and the kids to drop off a bunch of wedding presents.  we figured they were still all nicely packed, they should go over first!  walking in was awesome.  it's completely empty, a blank slate for us to play and goof off in.  we were fortunate enough to receive some lovely gifts, and while opening them the other night one of the things they girlchild said was, "man, our new house is going to look so cool."  she's right, it is.  going from the wedding to the house is a lot of work, i won't lie, but i think it's more than worth it.  we get to start our new life together in a new place, and that is pretty damn cool.  i see all sorts of fun projects in our future!  my first was to knit my new house key a cozy little sweater, because i am a dork.  i saw a few patterns for key cozies online, then watched some law & order while i winged it.  it wasn't terribly hard to make, and now i kind of want to build a bunch of cozies for everything.  keys, ipods, kindles, lamps, vacuums....okay, maybe not the vacuum.  maybe a nice mug cozy, though.

also, since we had a good friend officiate our wedding (and didn't want to make him have to get ordained as something), we needed to make our marriage legal so we hit the courthouse today and once again said "i do."  it was a super low-key affair, and we have decided that from now on we'll just have a three day wedding anniversary.  going to the courthouse didn't make me feel any more married (i truly feel that i married D on saturday!), but it does make our union kosher, and now i can start with all the name-changing shenanigans.  that sounds decidedly less fun that knitting key cozies, but it will be fun to have a new name.  now i just need to get used to signing it...

sneak peak

our amazing photographer sent over a few shots to tide us over, and here are two! in this one, i'm dipping D because my hoop skirts made it hard for him to try to dip me. :-)  ha!  i kind of look like i'm going to eat him, which is honestly kind of how i felt at that moment.

and here you can see my blue shoes, my curled hair, and D wondering what to do with his hands.  isn't he handsome?  can't you see why i want to eat him alive?

i am now a mrs.

whew.  weddings are exhausting.  i thought i was tired the other night, but i had no idea.  the day went great! there were a few hiccups early on, and i had an honest-to-goodness annoyed bride moment (although i don't think i was too much of a jackass), and then i thought i was going to have a panic attack when i got my wedding dress on, but suddenly we were all walking upstairs and then boom! married.  it does all go by quickly, and afterward it seems like a happy blur, but here are a few things i remember clearly.

• telling the boychik to walk slowly, i wasn't too good with heels.
• our friend and officiant got one of those books that seems to spontaneously burst into flames when you open it, which is how he started the wedding.  we're not sure everyone got the rapture joke, but we thought it was funny.
• both D and i winged our part of the vows, and i was struck by how beautiful D's were.  really.  i'm not just saying that because he's my husband.
• we were late getting upstairs because i run on indian time, the end.  it's the only native thing i do, and i can't help it, i just get there when i do.  
• we lucked out and hired an amazing photographer, who took care of us all day long.  honestly, i only met her that day, and she was crazy helpful and wonderful and took a million and two photos.  all of which i can't wait to see!
• we had a whole lot of guests!  that was a little overwhelming for me.  looking out at all those happy faces made me feel so fortunate.  
• all of the pies my friends and family made were amaze-balls.  OMG so much pie!  at one point, i just wandered down the table with a fork, taking bites.  you know, because i could.
• i met a lot of D's friends that were delightful.
• my friend Anne really went above and beyond in both the days leading up to the wedding and on the wedding day.  she let me vent and never told me to "breathe," she just listened and said, "yeah, that sucks."  she gave a touching toast (it was one of the times i teared up) and i don't think i could have made it through the day with any shred of sanity if she hadn't been there.  yay! 

today i feel like i got hit by a truck.  i am just finally waking up, getting ready for a shower, and then taking the girlchild out for coffee and a nibble.  she's my girl now!  almost 24 hours into being married and i can tell you, it's pretty fucking awesome.

I AM GETTING MARRIED LATER TODAY.

i am exhausted, excited, kind of grubby and will likely lie in bed tossing for a bit before finally conking out.  i hurt my back, started my period, and also figured out an awesome way to curl my hair.  i was both astonished by the kindness of my people and annoyed with them at different times of the day.  i can see now why people throw weddings: you cram a lot of problem solving, interpersonal relationship stuff, stress and emotions all in a short period of time and it's like a crash course in "are you ready to spend forever with this person?"  it's awesome and overwhelming and has made me weepy more times than i care to admit.  i'm thrilled to finally be here, at the day all this work was for, and kind of sad that soon it will be over.

in the end, i get to go home with the man i love, and so no matter what happens later today, it will be worth it.  schmoop.  

beeramid

if you aren't coming to my wedding, this is what you're missing.  a mighty stash of beer!

i need to clean the house today, because we are having guests.  D needs to cut his hair, i need to figure out how to curl a metric ton of my own hair (i'm thinking overnight soft rollers and hair wax? ideas?).  most everything else is done and accounted for, and if it isn't at this point, then i don't care. 

no one else will either, once we start cracking open cases of beer and bottles of wine! 

diet shakes

and salads, with a side of sugar free red bull, are a girl's best friend this week.  i wouldn't really be a bride if i didn't crash diet, would i?  god, the feminist part of me is irritated, the other part of me just wants it to look like i only have one chin in my wedding photos.

we also had our first wedding kerfuffle today.  discovered the PA system we rented wasn't a PA "system" so much as it was a podium with a built in speaker.  boo!  that means it won't work with our iPod dj.  after a quick internet search, i discovered a place that will rent us the equipment for not much more, they'll come out and set it up, and then we'll take it down and bring it back.  hooray!  the kid that just called me from there was amazing; just really on top of things and relaxed and helpful.  i didn't really even have time to get my panties in a bunch, i just made some phone calls and voila! everything was fine.

i am awesome at being a bride.  true story.

the countdown

begins NOW.  well, it officially begins now.  i've been counting down for a while now, as anyone i work with can attest to. 

7 days!  on the list today,

• go through our cd's and find those with songs we want to use at the reception.
• hit up Dick's, and get serving utensils.
• either price or buy booze outright.
• work on super-secret-reception craft.  wait, telling you about it takes away some of the secret, but it's still pretty mysterious.

my shoes showed up yesterday, and i wore them around the house.  i remembered why i don't normally wear high heels: i walk like a person who just discovered her feet in them.  it's not pretty.  needless to say, i need some practice.  i also started breaking in my corset, which wasn't as terrible as it sounds.  although i can see why fainting couches were so popular back in the day.  

ten days left!

then i am marrying this man, even though he wears those sunglasses on a regular basis.  i can forgive him of that because OMG do you see my chins?  shit man, i've been trying to diet in order to look crazy hot in my wedding photos, but i'll be honest: stress makes me want to eat or drink beers, and both of those things involve calories i probably don't need.  i have a corset for my midsection (hell yeah!) but unfortunately, you can't get corsets for your face.  what the fuck?  oh well, this guy still thinks i'm foxy, and since he's the guy i make out with, that's good enough for me. 

we got our marriage license today, which made me all kinds of giddy and schmoopy.  (hence the photo.)  it didn't help that every lady we saw today was all "oooh, so cute! congratulations!"  while i'm anxious and busy and feel like i have a million things to do in the next ten days (um, because i DO), i can honestly say i'm happy to be going through this with D.  we also picked up all the paper and utensils and stuff for the reception, i made some more goddamn pom poms (i hate those fuckers now) and this weekend i wrote our vows and ceremony.  okay, to be honest, i only wrote the beginning part of the ceremony from scratch, the rest of it was stuff i found out there on the internet and altered.  still, i think writing the first part is commendable.  i think the fact that i'm getting so much done means that a) i'm on a roll and b) i need those beers that are making my chins looks ridiculous.   

this means i'm going to have to finish wedding decorations

my giant, procrastination aiding project, the missoni style afghan, is done!  well, the ends still need to be woven in, and i think it might benefit from blocking, but the knitting is DONE.  this took five months to complete, two or three of those months spent just looking at it and dreading the miles of stockinette stitch that were to come.  taking a break from it was the right thing to do; i think i made some more courageous color choices near the end because i'd had some time to think.  i really didn't want it to follow a pattern or the colors to be too "matchy."  in the end, this was totally worth the time, effort and cost.  (although i used knit picks wool of the andes that i bought during a sale; making all the yarn for this cost about $50!)  the blog post that started this whole thing can be found here, and my photos over on flickr can be found here.  

showered

i had a bridal shower this weekend!  admittedly, i was kind of nervous beforehand.  wearing one of those girdle-type undershirts didn't help, either, but i haven't been to a party thrown for me in oh, about ten years.  i'm always nervous that it will be a weird, awkward event where no one talks and we all sit around making terrible small talk.  in fact, it's safe to say that i worry about that 75% of the time in general.  in any case, i shouldn't have spazzed out, it was awesome.  i was (am) overwhelmed with the kindness of my friends and family.  i didn't just get a lot of awesome presents (although I DID), i had a great day with people i love, and ate too much cake.  can a girl ask for more?  i think not. 

also, i'd like for everyone to know that my favorite sandwich EVER is as follows: ham, brie and fig jam on baguette.  it's been my favorite sandwich for years now, but i want you to know about it because it's the greatest thing on earth.  sweet and salty and creamy, crammed between two slices of chewy bread.  delightful! 

names

yesterday, at D's family easter celebration, i announced that i would be taking D's last name.  for a while i toyed with the idea of still having a hyphen; keeping my father's last name and adding D's to it.  the more i'm with d and the kids, though, the more i think i'd like it if we all had the same last name.  we have a joke where whenever someone does something awesome, we say " Go, Team R!" like the venture brothers, which is kind of how this all started.  yesterday, when i said, "oh, i'm just going to be a r----," D's dad actually put his hand on mine, sighed and said, "thank you."  i told him after he bought me a house, i kind of thought that's the least i could do, and he said, "oh! you didn't have to do that!" and we had a good laugh and i realized i'm doing the right thing.  it makes him happy, it makes the kids happy, and i'll always be a bentley, regardless of what my last name is.

plus, only having one last name sounds kind of nice.  you spend 33 years explaining your hyphen and tell me how you feel about it. 

country roads

this will come as no surprise to anyone, but i've been kind of stressed out lately.  excited and happy too, but also anxious and busy.  the wedding is less than a month away, and it feels like we still have a lot to do.  the week after that we have to move four people out of a house we've lived in for years, and the thought of that is so daunting to me.  i hate moving all by myself, i can hardly bring myself to pack things in any kind of neat or orderly way, i always wait until the last minute and throw things in trash bags and boxes, then procrastinate for MONTHS with the unpacking.  you've seen me move enough times to know that's true! only this time, i'm kind of a grown-up, suddenly have kids, and kind of need to set a better example.  it's also a lot more important to get set up easily and comfortably in the new house, because kids need stability and their toothbrushes.  on occasion the thought of all my responsibilities kind of strikes me dumb.

in addition to all the fun stresses of getting married and having a home of our very own, the kid's mom has come back on the scene.  it's been about 8 years since anyone has heard from her, and guess what brought her back this time?  facebook.  (dear facebook, i hate you even more now. congratulations!)  it's a weird and touchy situation all around; with one kid trying to make contact, and one kid not wanting to have anything to do with her.  D isn't thrilled to have to talk about it either, and we're worried that the kids will end up disappointed or hurt.  to be honest, so far the contact that's been made between her and the kids hasn't looked too promising.  i hope i'm wrong.

today was a crazy beautiful day, though.  spring in the pacific northwest has taken forever to show up, and this is the first sunny, warm day we've had in forever.  the kids were out with their friends, D was at work, so i took a nice long drive.  i forgot my MP3 player, but found some tapes in the car, and spent hours driving around listening to jane's addiction.  by the time i got home, i felt considerably more cheerful.  the sun, the sights, the aimless wandering all did me good.  since coming home i've gotten some wedding stuff done, made plans to do more wedding stuff with my mother-in-law on monday, and tidied up the house.  it's amazing what a long stretch of road does for my mood.

the evils of facebook

i broke up facebook months ago; at least i thought i did.  turns out, they never really remove your account, they just "deactivate" it, and you're still there, just looking like that asshole who never posts.  which i guess in my case, was kind of true.  it's kind of a long story why facebook became kind of an issue again, but there are things i kind of feel like i need to be paying attention to.  being a quiet and benign presence there can't hurt my parenting skills, let's put it that way.  it's not really the most terrible thing to happen to me; logging in tonight i changed my last name for the first of what i hear is going to be many times, and i got to see what kids i haven't talked to in forever are doing, and i did a little spring cleaning.  i got rid of some friends that had been only work friends (and a long time ago, at that), i pared things down to close friends and family.  my list is much smaller, and the people on there now are people who post things that are actually fun to read.  yay for that.  still, being on there makes me feel strange, and i can't tell if this will be a lasting thing, or if i'll just deactivate again.

also, i think D and i figured out what we song we want to use for our first dance today.  honestly, it came on the radio and we started talking about how awesome it was, and then i said, "hey, we could use this for our first dance."  we came home and listened to it a few more times, and i think we're decided!  we're keeping it a secret though, at D's request.  i will say this: it's not anything either of us would have thought we'd pick.  which is kind of what makes it so rad.   

my newest crush

*dreamy! handy!*

this guy, antonio ballatore.  he has a show on HGTV, called the antonio treatment, which i have quickly become obsessed with.  i guess he's been on tv for a while, but i only recently discovered him.  i tried to find a photo of him with his awesome glasses, but this will do.  isn't he handsome?  his decorating is also totally fucking insane, and i mean that in the best way possible.  his rooms look bizarre and beautiful, and he's got what i think of as a coney island aesthetic.  plus, he's tall, he can obviously grow a beard, and he's got a super cool dog.  swoon alert!

just check out some of these awesome rooms for yourself, and try to tell me they aren't ridiculously wonderful.  i can only hope some of my house looks so good someday!  

a few home declarations

the knowledge that we are soon moving into our own home, a real house, has slowly been sinking in over the past week.  it all happened so FAST.  barring anything crazy happening in the next week, we'll be closing within a month! 

of course this means i've been thinking a lot about how i want the house to look, what i want to do to it and in it, scanning blogs and paying more attention to home and garden magazines.  in my head i'm making a list of things i do and don't want to do, and i have a feeling this is going to turn into some kind of home-owning manifesto for amanda.  after the jump is a short list of things i'm going to try to adhere to.

grumpy pants

we should leave this in the boychik's room just for spite

man, i have been seriously super grumpy lately.  i think that's what being stressed out does to me, and we're all kind of in a heightened state of "oh my god there's so much to do" and also antsy to get the hell out of this house and into the new one.  i think the only one of us that isn't a grouch right now is the girlchild, and she has been a refreshing change of pace.  if i could have two days alone in the house, i think i could get a lot done and feel a lot less fussy, but the problem about having a family is that you can't kick them out for a few days because you want to.  you need a good reason, and i don't really have one.  also, i need to get over my thing where i only work on house stuff when they're gone.  after all, we're about to get married and they're not going anywhere any time soon.  i am actually going to have to adapt, i can put it off no longer.  at least the kids are back in school today and D works; i feel a great big productive streak coming on already.

lately i'm all about reading home and design blogs and am having five million ideas for things i want to do to the house.  we had the inspection this weekend, so this morning i meet with the realtor to go over the findings and maybe re-negotiate the price.  the report really didn't find much though; there are a few things that will need to be repaired and/or replaced in a few years, so we'll need to set up a fund for that sort of thing, but overall, there aren't any glaring defects.  yay!

you know what i am really excited about?

having my own tiny space to make a studio in.  i know i don't do a lot of drawing or painting or doodling, but when i do, i am very happy.  that little weird "closet" behind the master bedroom closet calls to me at night, and i've spent days now daydreaming about how i want to paint it and where i want to mount the cork.  right now i have a very steve zissou theme in mind, meaning i need to pick out exactly the right shade of blue for the walls, and obviously paint my desk red.  who's excited?  THIS GIRL.

guess who isn't really working on anything wedding related at all?

that would be me.  shit, all i can think about are things i want to do to the new house, as in painting, and things i want to do at the new house, like barbequeing.

in reality, i don't have a ton of stuff left to do.  the invitations took FOREVER because i'm a tard and making them all by hand was not my smartest idea.  at the same time, they turned out cute, so i shouldn't bitch.  there's still plenty of stuff that needs to be bought, though.  the kids need outfits, the tables need tablecloths, the centerpieces need centers, yadda yadda.  we should also probably get a marriage license, assign the pies to our loved ones, and make a menu.

honestly, i'm overwhelmed.  sometimes happily so, sometimes in a spazzed out kind of way.  this is a lot to do in a short amount of time, and while it's all very excited, it's also a lot of work.  a month and a half left, i should probably be doing something other than blogging! 

when it rains it pours

that saying also applies to good things, thank goodness.  in about two months i'll be married, have a new-ish last name (i'm still trying to decide if i'll hyphenate or not!), and guess what?  i'll also be a homeowner.  well, mostly a homeowner.  my amazing in-laws are helping us buy our very first home!  we've been talking about it with them for a while now, but had decided last week that we should really just focus on the wedding stuff, and look at houses after that was all over.  then, we all (independent of each other) saw this house come on the market that we thought looked great.  one thing led to another, we saw the house, fell more in love with it, made and offer, and TA-DAAH!  as it stands right now we move in the monday after the wedding.  isn't that crazy?

it's a great house, just big enough for the four of us, with both a sitting room and a living room, a nice big backyard, a deck, a garage with a shop built into it, and this weird "storage" room off the master bedroom that is so becoming my little craft cave.  it was a great price, we discovered that we actually know the owners, and our experience with the realtors and inspectors and all that has been good. 

to be honest, my brain is going a thousand different ways at once.  i wonder how we're going to take down the wallpaper in the kid's rooms (it's kind of dated and too young for the kids), what i'm going to paint the bedroom, how much it will cost us to buy a refurbished or used washer/drier set,  what will come with us and what we'll get rid of, what other sorts of things i should put on the bridal registry that we'll need a new place, etc.  i literally couldn't sleep last night i was so excited.  i've been in rentals now for 14 years; being able to make a place really, truly my own is just totally fucking thrilling.  it's blowing my mind! 

and here, my dears, is our lovely new place,

i'll let you know when the house-warming party is! 

creepy crawlies

the boychik and i rented some scary movies tonight, because that's what we do when we have the house to ourselves, and we both agreed that paranormal activity looked interesting.  you know, we wanted to see what all the fuss was about. 

we watched almost the entire movie with blankets up near our noses so we could hide if we needed to.  it was creepy in it's everyday-ness, kind of like the blair witch project, but you know, IN YOUR HOUSE.  *shiver*  we tried to put something else in afterward, and the dvd player made a very wrong noise, and we had to shut that shit off, and then we giggled nervously in the living room at our ridiculousness. 

he'll kill me for telling you this, but i can't help it!  we are feeling creeped out.  scary movie night just bit us in the ass!